Wednesday, 13rd December

Maybe this day is one of those that will remain so intact and painful in my memory at the same time. I remember that, as always, when I got up I saw my father´s picture, but this time I had a feeling; I'm not superstitious, but I thought this day would bring bad news ... Finally, when I got home around 11.20 I saw that I had a voice message .. My soul shuddered to see that the sender was my younger brother ... I thought, humm he almost never sends voice messages; something had happened ... and indeed, that message was the atomic bomb that just destroyed me on the inside.

The incredulity, the sadness, the rage and impotence took me over; yes, it's true my father´s health was very delicate, but how to accept that he was gone, how to accept his farewell, how to accept that I could never hug him again or tell him I love you, how ...

I remember how my mind almost stopped working, I could not figure out what to do, I immediately called my parents' house, my brothers, but nobody answered, maybe it was the time difference ... but no, they were in the middle of the sad task of the medical paperwork and the death certificates ... only with the help of my husband could I get the ticket for the longest and saddest flight I've ever had.

In less than 18 hours I stepped on Bolivian soil, and of course, how to forget all those occasions when my father waited for me at that airport; even then I missed his absence. The next thing happened so fast, seeing my family broken in pain, seeing his room and his things again, with a terrible silence, with a huge absence, dressing for the wake, and maybe the most terrible thing to see him without his vital energy, without hearing his strong voice.

But it was when I stroked his face, his hair and saying goodbye for the last time when I felt myself dying, when I felt that life no longer made sense; lo and behold, in a spontaneous way when his friends, people with whom he worked and shared a lifetime, began to give testimony to what he was, once again my father surprised me, that rock of leadership, that charisma, the ability to be the best friend and make friends, that headstrong and quixotic attitude of he who gave his life for what he believed, made me feel so proud and blessed to be his daughter.

Knowing that my dad marked the lives of so many people was the best farewell we could give him.